Yeah, look. No one wants to hear the truth about this James Kim situation.
But I’m going to give it to you anyway.
First and foremost, it’s a fucking sad tale no matter how you slice it. A 35 year-old guy is dead and his wife and two little kids have to continue to live. I’m sure there are more heartbreaking tales out there, but this one is a rough one. I think even the most jaded and bitter and angry of us would concede that this is a tragedy.
But that doesn’t mean we should all start wallpapering the Web and the bricks-and-mortar universe with “James Kim is a hero” banners. I’m not going to get super-technical about the definition of a hero. I will say that if it helps James’ family and friends or anyone else moved by the story to think of him as a hero, by all means go ahead and believe. You deserve at least that much.
For the rest of us (the jaded and dispassionate), I’m going to do the unthinkable and second-guess some of the decisions made by James and (presumably) Kati leading up to and through the conclusion of their terrifying ordeal.
Yes, yes, it is easy to Monday Morning Quarterback a situation like this. And it’s probably not fair. But my blog isn’t about being fair. In that way it has much in common with life.
You don’t drive late at night, in the dark, in inclement weather when you’re not familiar with the area. Especially with two little kids. You spend the night in a motel (or in the parking lot of the Denny’s you just ate at if you have to) and wait until you have daylight to make your trek across the mountains. I know it’s easy to say that now but I don’t know anyone who would have signed off on such an ambitious journey in unpredictable weather at night. That would seem to be the biggest mistake of all.
When you’re fucking lost in your car and know (as we all know when it happens) that you’re only getting more lost, stop the fucking car. At night, in the snow, in an unfamiliar area is the last fucking place you want to start winging it, map or not. I don’t care if it’s a AAA map, a BLM map or fucking Yahoo Maps, you don’t risk it. Stop the fucking car. Turn around and backtrack, even if it’s at only 3 mph in reverse. Maybe you’ll get lucky and back right into another car. That would be a miracle. Get your ass back to the last main road you traveled or as close to it as possible.
If you’ve fucked up so badly or had something disastrous happen and now find yourself absolutely stuck in the fucking snow in the middle of nowhere, you have to fucking wait it out no matter what. I know. I know.
This would be the hardest part for me, no doubt. No food, freezing your ass off. Two tiny kids crying and scared. Wife on your ass. Or just terrified of the unknown. But you can’t do it. Small journeys out for snow to make water and whatever berries or wood you can get your hands on. Dust off the top of your car. Maybe, MAYBE short journeys defined by counting out 500 or 1,000 steps in all directions from your car to get a look at the area and maybe hang other attention-getting shit for searchers. That’s it. Otherwise, stay in your fucking car.
I noticed the media didn’t report on whether or not he was sexually assaulted before (or after) he froze to death. I think that’s shoddy journalism. Whenever a child goes missing and is eventually found, we always hear about whether or not the victim was sexually assaulted. Are they saying that because he was 35, he wasn’t attractive enough to some sick fuck roaming the mountains? Was it because he was Asian-American?
And why didn’t anyone mention what he and the family had to eat at Denny’s that final night? I’d like to know that.
I can’t say James Kim is a hero. But I can’t blame others who want to say he’s a hero.
In the end, his (and his wife’s) mistakes will definitely serve as fine examples of what not to do in similar circumstances and prevent others from making the same fatal errors in the future.
That’s not really heroic either but it’s better than nothing.
